Hello.

I am back. /epic flailing

Actually, I have been up and about (in case this, this and most recently, this weren't sure signs of me still living a life). It's just that with the forced hiatus (due to stupidity on my part), plus life for the past two and a half months flew by at breakneck pace that it was impossible to have done a decent blog. Nope. Nu uh.

So, this will be like a monster posts of sorts, just to tie in the past two and a half months to the present.

Here goes everything.

"And so it goes with God."

I was finally able to finish Life of Pi last week, and I must say that unless another book of this caliber ends up on my shelf (whether part of the loot of the upcoming MIBF or after), this will be my favorite book for the year. I was in tears when it ended.

The title of this blog post came from that part where I lost all composure. I don't want to spoil anything, but that answer made sense of the impossible, of the incomprehensible.

My copy of this book came with a reading group guide, and one of the questions was this: How does it (the last few lines of the story) relate to the claim that this is a story "that will make you believe in God?" My answer to this is quite simple - this book will make you believe in God because it is an impossible story, and God is a God who makes all things possible.

One thing common about the religions dabbled upon in this book is that each of them had its own story, and with these, they brought to the table its own unique traits. Hinduism was about continuity and connectedness. Islam was all about brotherhood and devotion. Christianity was about love and undeserved grace. All of these elements were touched upon in this book, and in my perspective, did not give one preference over the other.

For me, that was the beauty of Life of Pi. It wasn't a "religious" book, for what I saw was a guy who got stranded on a boat with a tiger, a hyena, a zebra, and an orangutan (plus some rats and cockroaches) who knew well enough that he wouldn't survive the ordeal. But instead of giving up, he surrendered his life to a Higher Being, and made use of everything in his surroundings in order to survive. What was put on a pedestal here wasn't the religion, but rather, the relationship that person had with God. And in the end, it was never about religion. It was all about the relationship.

This was a story of faith - that even if it's the size of a mustard seed, we could command the Bengal tigers of our lives into submission. This was a story of waiting on God, knowing that what had been promised will come to pass; a story of expectation - that we could have such wild hope over something that was unseen. This was a story of love - that we could love an unseen, and yet true God, who loves and cares for us more than what we deserve.

I SUPER TO THE DUPER HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK. =D Oh, and even better, the movie comes out this year. =D

--- --- ---

I watched The Phantom of The Opera last Saturday. And like with Life of Pi, I CRIED.

It was AWESOME. The only coherent thing I can say about it now is that it's worth every centavo. Just GO AND BUY YOUR TICKET, and don't fret over the price, because it won't disappoint.

My favorite part, as I have already raved on FB, was when "The Phantom of the Opera" was sung. It was EPIC - stage design, vocals, acting, the orchestra (HNNNG THE ORCHESTRA) - everything. When the song ended, I wiped my tears and let go of the railings from which I've been holding on to furiously. 

I wonder though why I didn't cry in the finale. The people whom I've talked to who have watched this told me that that part got to them so bad. Apparently, another part got me. XD

I truly hope this won't be my last Broadway show. When Les Miz comes here, I will DEFINITELY WATCH, being my namesake is there. =D

--- --- ---

Here are some other awesome things that happened since I last posted:

• The Project Wendy photoshoot happened. If you're in the Tom Hiddleston fandom, you'd know what this was for. We had so much fun. Personally, I've never been more proud of the photos I've taken with this shoot. I also finally got to go to Paco Park (being the Rizal fangirl that I am, it would be an absolute TRAVESTY if I didn't set foot here), which was OSAM. 
•  THRANDUIL ELVENKING WAS FINALLY REVEALED. I was a mess last Friday. I was weeping (sincerely!) from all of the emotions. Lee Pace looked so bad-ass and ethereal at the same time. Just. HNNNNNG. He will definitely be something to look forward to in this super extended movie version of The Hobbit. I wonder though, if Thranduil will be on all three movies. Hmmmmm...
• Finals for me will officially end tomorrow with our presentation for E-marketing. I'm preparing myself, in case we have to dance GANGNAM STYLE to get the attention of our panel. I hope that this won't push through (LIKE HECK YES PLEASE SANA NGA)
• I've been writing my book. =D
• I'm on leave from stage ministry.

And...that's pretty much it! 

Yup. Still Alive.

I have been remiss in updating this place. But I haven't been really away, because if you looked hard enough, you'd notice that I have two new static pages above! *points*

• Seen/Written is my humble, short collective of written work, posted in some shape or form online - Seen for photography, Written for prose. 
• Books is my growing list of books that I'm open to lend out (to close friends, initially). I was supposed to put up a book club with this person here (AND I HAVE BEEN REMISS ON THAT AS WELL, I AM SO SORRY) but stuff happened that made us unable to do it. Anyway, in an effort to get something started, I've put up my own list of books for loan. This list is still a work in progress; I'm sure I haven't included everything that I have at home.

--- --- ---

So, what has been happening the past few weeks?

• I've been meeting a lot of new people (if I've met you the past two weeks or so and you're reading this, hi!)
• I'm getting required book readings again, and I'm so delayed with finishing them. Required book readings, by the way, aren't the same with wala lang book readings (Read: stuff I want to read)
• I co-composed and arranged a song (emphasis on co- because there's no way I can do it from the ground up). We have this ongoing workshop-slash-book report thing for Music that required us to make a song. I got the recordings of all the songs through email this week, and yeah...hearing my own voice is sooooo awkward *goosebumps* 
• I got paid to do graphic design work in exchange for books (best payment I ever received aside from cash [duh]).
• I ventured once more into snail mail! I called this Operation Liham. The details of the letter can be found on that link. I can't even remember the last time I sent snail mail. It was probably even before 2000. YEGADS

In class, I'm starting to see my most favorite line of Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged in an entirely new light. (Read: SCREW THE RULES.) I'm also seeing a very significant shift in my responsibilities at work, and once again, I find myself hardly prepared.

--- --- ---

This Wednesday, when I went to midweek, I was told by two people that they really like the way I sing this particular song. I am really floored when people say nice things about what I do, whether it's with singing or with work, because more often than not, I am harder on myself than most people are.

But, what I find really funny is that there were other people who told me the same thing for the same song. At first, I was thinking, "Teka, nag-usap ba kayo?" Hahahahaha! But, it seemed highly unlikely because the interval between this Wednesday and the last time I got a similar compliment was more than a year. So...yeah, I don't think nag-usap sila. XD

I guess it's because [1] I love the song; [2] I absolutely LOVE Brooke Fraser (read: girl crush); and [3] there are many ways to sing a song, but very few ways to sing it right. I consider #3 to be the most important, because you can have less of #1 and absolutely none of #2, and still do justice to a song - as long as you sing it right.

Truth be told, I remember messing up Hosanna so many times to the point of not wanting to sing that song in public again, so to hear these things out of the blue is so uplifting.

I must be doing something right. It may not be as bad as I think it is. (Applying the temperaments, the melancholic in me has to seriously chill. XD)

And on this note, gusto ko na uli magkaroon ng raket! Nakakapagod din ang work-school-church lagi! Wala bang mga ikakasal diyan? (Bwahahaha tama ba ito? XDDD)

Brown, blue, and orange - a morning at CIW

"Magsuot ka ng kahit na ano, wag lang brown, blue, or orange."

"Puwede bang mag-shorts?" I asked.

--- --- ---

Image from DefinitelyFilipino.com

Last Saturday, I went to the Correctional Institute for Women (CIW) in Mandaluyong. I was ordered asked to go there to do ministry to the inmates, along with some other people who are also in music. 

To be honest, I wasn't really expecting much with the visit. At the very least, I wished that it wouldn't be hot, and that it will be uneventful (i.e. no encounters of the weird kind). Prior to this I haven't been inside a prison before, and everything I knew about prison life I've seen in Mission: Impossible movies and the like.

The first thought that came to mind the night before was what I was supposed to wear. Given the heat, I'd rather be wearing shorts, but I was advised not to, along with the very helpful tip of not wearing anything brown, blue, or orange (which was what the inmates wore, color-coded according to the gravity of their offense).

I wore purple. With leggings. 

I asked if I could bring a camera, and I was told I couldn't because the identities of the women inside should be protected. That seemed reasonable enough, but it would have been awesome to have had one though. For one, this post would have been written much easier. 

--- --- ---

Our group was led inside without much fuss. We were advised to leave our cellphones behind at the car, which we've already done before going inside the facility. We were body searched (always a very unpleasant experience for me, even if it's a woman doing it) after our hands were stamped. Then, we were led inside the complex.

Everyone was very courteous. There was a good morning thrown my way every 30 seconds or so for the first ten minutes I was in there. I quietly took in everything - the obvious abundance of orange shirts and dresses with the occasional blue and brown, the long queue of the telephone booths which was their major connection to the outside world and loved ones, the beauty salon (I was tempted to try it out, to be honest - they had nail art!), and the impeccable surroundings that made littering seem like a mortal sin.

We made our way to a few flights of stairs until we reached the covered roof deck which had an amazing view of the Makati, Mandaluyong, and Ortigas skyline. There were also two keyboards in one end, with an overhead projector (is this real life?!). There were also chairs neatly arranged in rows. 

After a while, there was some prayer done, and some talking. Soon there was singing, reading, even laughter, and then everything became solemn again, and then tears.

And then my heart was full.

It was such an eye-opening experience to have been a small part of these women's lives even for a few hours - to have hugged them in spite of every rule I've placed on myself regarding personal space, to have shared in their tears as they prayed for breakthroughs in their cases, for forgiveness, to rejoice in every season of their lives, especially in this season of isolation from the outside world. 

I found myself crying at times during that morning. How often have I complained about things not going my way, or how hard life is ... what are my difficulties compared to these women who have been separated from family and loved ones - some even carry their pictures along with their IDs as a reminder. The food inside, I've heard from their own accounts, was so awful - a can of tuna was shared by three people. And through all this, they still have hope - a wild hope, if you will - that it could only get better.

--- --- ---

It was rather timely that in my various searches made through the Internet, I (re)learned something about "compassion". Compassion, from its Latin origin, actually meant to suffer with another. It's far from an act of kindness, though it is slightly close to empathy - to understand and share in the feelings of another. 

When I was doing ministry there (and believe you me, I am hardly ever prepared for these things, but when push comes to shove, I somehow get a grip of what is expected of me), from the moment my hand touched one's shoulder, I felt compassion at that instant, and I found myself crying with them. I remember learning from somewhere that while you're doing ministry, you're not supposed to close your eyes, and you shouldn't be fazed with the showing of any emotion (i.e. crying) - for very good reasons, I must add. In the case of last Saturday's, however, it was close to a knee-jerk reaction, if you will. To explain it would look rather weird, cause I would do it this way: it's like the other person's emotions penetrate and swirl inside you, and as they swirl they hit you where it hits them at that specific moment in time - chest heaving, eyes tearing, teeth gritting. It can only be compassion, cause I could think of no other explanation. 

Aside from this, I was also reminded that everyone is capable of great good and great evil. These women, who may have done evil in different shapes or forms, are also capable of shedding tears or becoming vulnerable. They're no different from me, or you. 

--- --- ---

So, there you have it! I got into prison, and I got out. 

If the family learns about this, it will be long before I hear the end of it. ("Buti na lang hindi ka napagkamalang preso!" or "Buti na lang nakalabas ka!". Hay, family.)

Because I'm usually the one who takes the shot (a.k.a. The Cherry Cherry Boom Boom Photoshoot)

For my utter lack of coherence in the previous post, I regret nothing. (HAHA!)

But to save face, here's a more coherent version.

I am obligated to provide a link to the portfolio of the uber-demanding photographer (sobrang demanding niya, you have no idea).

Being the person who's (unofficially) the official photographer for events - whether they are family reunions, work or church related events, I RARELY get really good photos (as in VAVAVOOM GOOD). The people I take pictures of end up with the good photos (and eventually, DPs), while I end up with the usual substandard selca or a picture of myself that wasn't taken well because of poor lighting, composition, and/or laziness. I get even more pissed if a person who has zero knowledge about the use of DSLRs handles Oberon, but that's another story.

So, you could just imagine how happy I was when this photoshoot was scheduled, and how much I was freaking out when I saw what came out of the shoot. YE GADS - I finally have a decent photo!

It was a night of too much eyeliner (not only for me, but also for the guys!), too much black eyeshadow, and questionable fashion sense (blazer + shorts + rubber shoes = say what now?). The photos were taken in fire escapes and hallways. This particular picture was taken at the hallway, with no light except from the flash. We found the sofa stashed at the corner leading to the CR.

It's actually fun being photographed when you don't have to be "pretty", cause I pretty much suck at that no matter how hard I try. =P

Can I say that I was trying to channel Coco Rocha fierceness during this shoot? In my head I was telling myself, "think Coco Rocha fierce, be Coco Rocha fierce..." Now that I think about it, I don't understand why I would I think of a high-fashion model during a band photoshoot, and not someone like Gwen Stefani or Amy Lee.

Anyway, some of the friends who saw this said that I look like the female vocalist of Taken By Cars. That wasn't my intention at all, but I do see the similarity. XP

Oh - in other band-related news, we have decided on a cover song. =)

I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO FEB 8

WE GOT IN. THIS MAKES ME SOOOO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY.

(salamat kay Lady Gaga for the name of our band XD)

Been kind of busy in this part of the woods

I live.

And I've got a pretty lame good excuse for the lack of posts:

• Work. Um, yeah, pretty obvious, but will elaborate
• Class has begun, and we have to do some taste testing and rate attributes of the food, etc. etc. 
• Church stuff

... and these three commitments are basically what have been keeping me busy since last year, which leads me to think that these excuses are indeed lame. *facepalm* I'll just have to find more time to blog.

I'm contemplating on buying a .me domain, by the way. I'll probably do this when I have decided on a domain name. I don't want it under my name, and inasmuch as I want it to be wonderingwhattodowithdaylight.me, it's too long. 

Anyway, moooooving on.

--- --- ---

Church stuff - I'm getting a lesser load of assignments for the first three months of the year, which I really appreciate. That means I can devote more time to the other church commitments (hahahaha).

Most immediate among these commitments is actually not church-related, but will involve the youth ministry. We're auditioning for this thing here:

By the way, may band room pala sa STRC?! SINCE WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? All I did in STRC was run around and exercise during ROTC days!

Saka ko na ikukuwento yung experience ng pag-audition when the results are out. All I can say for now is that I am soooo relieved that I was able to sing bossa. I thought I didn't have it in me. Salamat sa mga bandmates ko, OSUM kayo. XD

--- --- ---

Ahhh. Work. I remember a verse in Ecclesiastes that says enjoying the fruits of your labor is a gift from God. This is especially true this month, since I was asked to participate in one of the projects I am managing - the author mentoring program I was talking about in the previous blog post. 

One of the assignments is to send invites to friends that you are launching a book. I don't really know the emails of my friends (plus they check their Facebook more often than email anyway), so I decided to post the "invite" there:

Mga friends, by faith I will be signing copies of my first book at the Manila International Book Fair this year, and I'd like to invite all of you when that happens! I don't know the book title yet, but it will be about how you can fulfill your dream of becoming an author. Heart is seriously pounding triple time as I type this. #thisisanassignmentfortheauthorclass #ihavetocomply #youhavenoideahowscarediam #idontshowmyworktopeople #gettingpublishedisbothexcitingandscary

The hashtags speak the truth. #youhavenoidea

A lot of people liked and commented that they were excited for me - some were even congratulating me already, which got me even more scared!

While most of the people I was growing up with wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to be an astronomer, a surgeon, or an author. But out of all of these three dream ambitions, the one I worked on the most as a kid was becoming an author (Second to that is becoming an astronomer - I learned how to spot constellations and near stars as a kid, and I can still remember how to do this now. I never really worked on becoming a surgeon - when it came to dissecting frogs I decided to strike that out of my list XD).

If my memory serves me right, I finished my first fiction story when I was 7 or 8 years old, and it was written in pencil on scratch paper that was the kind used for dot matrix printers. I think the only reason why I did that was because [1] there were no notebooks available, and [2] nobody in the house would suspect that I would write something important on scratch paper, cause as early as that, I had an unexplainable fear of people reading my stories.

Oh, by the way, my first story was - you wouldn't guess it - FANFICTION! (of what series it was about I will carry to my grave - I think only one person knows what series it is, and I pray said person doesn't remember anymore XD) 

At about that age too, I started keeping a diary. It was the "Dear [name of diary] (yes, I did that!), Today was really fun because I spent the day in school...", and here I would chronicle a day in my geek-outsider grade school life.

I also remember a time during Grade 5 when I was so mad (at what or who I don't want to say =D) that I decided to throw away everything that I have written thus far - and that included the first story that I wrote on dot matrix paper, and the first diary that I kept. I regret doing that now - I mean, how nostalgic would it be if I saw what I wrote twenty years ago, diba?

During high school, I wrote for the school paper (news, features, the usual lot), and I also wrote an original fiction piece - the first one that got published (with much fear on my part!). It was was supposedly a four-part story (with the assumption that we publish an issue every quarter), but we were only able to release one issue that schoolyear (haha fail). Buti na lang that happened, cause the story was kind of dark for a Christian school - dark in the sense na a character was killed, there's mention of blood, and this will be read by grade school and high school students alike. If all four parts were published, there's a good chance that I'd be sent to the principal's office or a guidance counselor. XDD

And, there was also NaNoWriMo, which I joined twice and won both (with extreme consequences for my physical health, though). I don't think I'll be joining again, not unless I find a way to eliminate the back pain, which is highly unlikely. Some of my chapters for NaNo were published online as part of a local compilation of excerpts written by those who joined during that year, but I kept it a secret from everyone (haha!).

So basically, what I'm trying to say is that I am sooo afraid of seeing my work published under my name, for  various reasons said and unsaid. Hence, the mere exercise of me posting that status message was nerve-wrecking. It's like ... coming out. HAHAHA!

Even if the book doesn't come out this year (or during the MIBF), it will likely come out at some other time. I'm sure there will be much prodding from the boss to do it. Also, writing a nonfiction piece is something I've never tried before, and thought I'd never do.

So, this endeavor of writing and being published is by faith, simply put. =D

--- --- ---

I am so gung-ho with third term - gung-ho in the sense that I want to get a much, much higher grade than last term. I have no qualms with last term cause I gave it everything I could, but the situation now is very different from last term. I think I can make a comeback. *positive vibes*

On not being awesome

Here's a good come back to earth quote for today.

While I was walking yesterday, I stole a few glances up at the sky, wondering briefly if there was still smog. The usual white-washed buildings had an undeniable splash of brown and beige - not on it, but over it. The sky wasn't at its bluest. The thick clouds were mostly off-white and grey.

I had a lovely Japanese bento lunch, which ended with coffee jelly. Throughout that time I stared out the tinted window, wondering if it would rain. I learned, when I was in Canlubang, that storms usually drive the pollution out, which is why the sky is usually clear after a storm passes. I silently hoped for rain - not the disastrous kind, of course - but normal, uneventful rain. The kind of rain that would make me wish I was home eating champorado.

The days following the New Year are usually uneventful - kind of boring actually. Mine thus far are hardly that: on New Year's Day, I was told that I was a failure. On Thursday, I have a planning session for church. On Saturday, I have a wedding to sing for. It's the first week of the year, and I'm already learning:

• The people who hurt you the most are the people whom you expect the opposite from
• People think I'm prepared, but the reality is I am hardly ever prepared 
• Being prepared is actually a process
• What people think I can do is far from what I think I can do; nevertheless, these people are expecting me to mold myself into the "me" that they are expecting

When work was done, I decided to walk again. I remembered how comfortable I was being alone, and for a while I regretted coming back to Manila, because the days I spent living alone in the boondocks (I miss that term) were actually the most fulfilling I've had thus far. The smell of freshly-cut grass, the cool, clean air, the random insect that I needed to exterminate - all of these I found wanting at one point.

I walked around the mall, looking at things I wished I had, and noting price markdowns on shoes that I need to revisit over the weekend. My four-year-old rubber shoes had been to Hong Kong, graced Corregidor and four burials, plus most of my leather ones are old hand-me-downs. I made mental notes of stuff that might be useful to me over the course of the year, such as special pens, felt-tip markers, and notebooks, statement tees...

The thick holiday crowd was gone. Not one shoulder brushing on mine. Vast, open mall space. Only the decor remained. Still the season to be jolly.

When I arrived at the train station, the long lines began.

One/One/Twelve

Happy 2012!

The family heaved a collective sigh when the clock struck twelve midnight. We've had it with 2011. We welcomed this year by watching the neighbors' fireworks, which was kind of boring. I went to bed thirty minutes after midnight.

--- --- ---

This term, I am enrolled in just one class, which falls on a Monday. First day is next week. Tomorrow is the first working day, and I'll have to go to work ALONE, because the parents won't be coming in. Bummer.

I'm still pretty sore about ministry-related stuff, and that's kind of an open secret (LOL). I think the reason for this is that it's not been resolved until now. Because of that, for the past two months I've been leaning towards not going for the extra mile, or not giving a damn about stuff that others think I should. I know I have to find that passion or whatever that is somewhere inside me and take it out of last year's major funk. Something has to change.

I think the key to making this year different from last year is attitude. I've been told this a zillion times (and if you're one of those people, thank you), and I think it's about time that I heeded that advise.

--- --- ---

By the way, I haven't talked about my birthday present to myself. I bought a Yamaha PSR E323. I was learning how to play this last year, and was even assigned to play synth a few times during services. Buying this wasn't necessary, but I was dead serious with wanting to learn how to play, since I don't have an instrument I could play aside from voice.

I have...four months(?) left to pay for this baby, which I have named Angela, after Angela Aki. =D  How I decided on "Angela" is quite interesting. I was mulling over possible names on Twitter, and the first idea that came to mind is to name it after a really good pianist, and I tweeted that Angela Aki was my top-of-mind pianist. I mentioned others like Hiromi Uehara (who at that time was also a very viable candidate), but all that changed when this thing below happened: 

Turns out that THE Angela Aki herself retweeted said tweet of mine (which was in Taglish, increasing the epic/fail of it all).Hence, I have decided to name it Angela in homage to her. =D

--- --- ---

And that's it, basically. I'm watching Tron now, and up next will be Tron Legacy.

This feels so hipster. 

Super special awesome ultra special sexy transformation sequence, go!

"I'M BACK, BABY."
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, I owe you one.

Ladies and gents, I give you the camp post.


--- --- ---

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me..."
Galatians 2:20

That verse pretty much sums up my entire camp experience. It was absolutely WRONG for me to think that it was the typical clean fun camp that I experienced during the camps that TFCA held for us. It was dirtier, messier...and I'm still not inclined to say that it was more fun XD. If they told us "This is like CAT/COCC camp" then I would have prepared myself mentally as well as physically.

I was not ready for mud.

In the previous post, I said that camp was a traumatizing experience. It was so much so that I completely broke down (as in waterworks talaga) on the last day. I had lost my voice, I had no wit left, and barely any reserve power to even will myself to eat. But somehow, I survived.

But more than these experiences, that verse really applied in the fullest force possible when it was time for altar call counselling. I had training (but I admit that I did not listen as well as I should be, HAHAHAHAHA!), but it still felt like I was coming into a battle that I wasn't prepared for. Yet, as I said in the post prior to this, I was fully aware that it wasn't me who was ministering to these people anymore, like...I became a vessel, and my self took a back seat. It seems unbelievable, I know...but it's an experience that one has to feel for himself, I guess. =D

Now that's been said, it's off to my personal best (and worst) experiences.

Between two realities

< OBLIGATORY GLOATING PART OF THIS POST >

I survived the NON-DOOMSDAY/RAPTURE of May 21, 2011.

Need I say I told you so? XD

< / OBLIGATORY GLOATING PART OF THIS POST >

--- --- ---

I'll reserve camp talk for another post, simply because it deserves its own post, and I want to have pictures to show when I write about it.

In a nutshell, however, it was traumatizing. Yes it was generally great...I had fun being myself (more specifically being pasaway) and everything, but the emotional toll on myself was just so much that I completely lost my wits at one point. Oh, and my voice too...that I completely lost by Friday.

Nevertheless, beyond my feelings and dealings I am so overwhelmed with what happened in camp. It definitely exceeded all expectations. At a point in camp I thought the sensation of having mud thrown on my face will be a feeling that will haunt me for the rest of my life...but the mind has its way of dealing with these things. XDDD I just wish I had a moment to watch all the awesomeness unfold, but my job in camp was to fight a battle that was supernatural in nature and minister to kids who were hurting and lost. It was a test of mental toughness in many ways, and I'm glad I survived (although barely).

Let me just say that there were a lot of stuff that I didn't know I had in me that showed during camp. What surprised me the most that there were many times that I was completely aware of my "mind" or "soul" taking a backseat, while someone (or should I say Someone...yup, that's more accurate) completely takes over. It gets better: the takeover was so complete that I could barely remember what I said, or rather, what my mouth uttered to a specific person I was praying for at a certain time. So, I know I was standing, I know my hands were on a person, I know I was speaking, but the words...just...wow. On a normal day or conversation, I wouldn't be able to say them.

Today, my voice is back, yet I sound hoarse still. I'm trying to keep quiet as much as possible since I have two job hunting appointments tomorrow, and I definitely need the trusty throat to be well enough in order to impress.

--- --- ---

I am officially a grad student of De La Salle University.

Since it was a requirement, I attended the new students' orientation yesterday afternoon (which was basically like undergrad LPEP, only many notches down in terms of execution). I enjoyed more the program-specific orientations, to be honest.

Here's the stuff that stuck during the four hour-orientation:
1. I cannot get a grade below 2.0 (which is basically anything below 80%),
2. If I want to pursue a doctorate degree, my chosen program will not cut it, and
3. I have eight years to finish the program.

Number 2 is something I'm content about at the moment, cause I honestly don't want to do a thesis by my lonesome. Plus, for the life of me, I cannot imagine attaching a "Dr." salutation to my name XDD.

Number 1 is something I am a bit nervous about. Then again, during undergrad, I only got two 2.0s. But that was undergrad. So yeah. XDDD

Number 3 I found very amusing.

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When the orientation was over, I felt obligated to see for myself the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf branch inside the University Library.

I saw it, and inside my head the Hallelujah Chorus played. The moment was glorious.

Now the Library will have the aroma of coffee mixed with old man smell. That's definitely an upgrade. XDDDD

Don't come looking for me

Just when I thought that I have had my fair abundant share of camp experience during high school, I find myself preparing to attend this year's youth camp at church - not as a participant, but as a worker.

Funny also that I can barely remember my own youth camp experiences back in high school (btw all my youth camps were high school-initiated. I never attended the church youth camps when I was studying). Only fragments remain...such as the awful accommodations we got (the cabin smelled of cat poo cause there was cat poo inside; plus we were expecting rooms with air conditioning but all we got were said filthy cabins and an exposed shower area) and the feeling of being set on fire with the heat coming from within, and then I was taking a plunge to a deep recess that I know I'll never get out off...and then I woke up sweating...

Oh, and I don't remember if it was the same camp or another one from a different year, but it was also during camp when I had my first encounter with a live snake (outside a zoo). It was in the pool that we were all swimming on. One classmate had a tremendous fear of snakes that he freaked out when it was lifted out of the water. And to think I was freestyling-breaststroking-pretending-to-drown with the rest of my classmates with a snake lurking just nearby...

SO. YEAH. YOUTH CAMP. AT TWENTY FIVE. This ought to be interesting...

Oh...this also means that I'm out of the radar (i.e. NO INTERNET HOHMG) from Tuesday until Friday...and probably Saturday too, cause that's enrollment day.




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I am back in Manila. I won't be coming back to Laguna tomorrow, or the next day.

I won't be coming there for a while.

Like I said a few posts back, I want to depart from my style of blogging now - which is, well, pretty random and slice-of-life with a kick - to one that is more introspective and journal-like. The way to do this, I guess, is to write more, as in notebook-pen writing. My tendency is when I'm doing the journaling online I get distracted with a lot of stuff that there's absolutely no room to do some real thinking. In one article I read about writing, the author recommended disconnecting your computer from the Internet in order to write. But for me, the fact that I am in front of a computer means instant distraction. If there's no Internet I have my video files, my iTunes, my photos...

Hence, it's time to go back to the roots of writing. The pen is mightier than the sword, so goes the saying, and a sword can definitely do major pwnage on laptops!





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Two of my last pictures of very familiar sights in Laguna. The first one is my final sunset, less the sun, and the view of the familiar empty dorm hallway, the first door is the one that led to my room.  The second picture is very interesting (to me, at least). I always see maya, but this is the smallest one I've seen in my entire stay, and this was taken on my last day. I was hoping that it wouldn't fly away while the camera was focusing on it, and it didn't. =D Both were taken using Dylan, so excuse the 5MP quality. XD

Here's a transcript of what I wrote during the eve of my last day in Laguna. A lot of things were on my mind then...when I tried processing all these by myself, I became very emotionally charged, and I knew that there was no other way to wrestle with it other than to write it all down.

So yesterday was Easter

CAN I GET A DOUBLE STRIKETHROUGH?

EASTER CANTATA
I Knew He Was Love
+ almost all songs, in backup

If I may quote Jesus Christ: "It is finished." *keyboard smash of happiness*

I finished uploading the play pictures and the behind-the-scene photos on FB, (the latter, to no surprise, exceed the number of pictures taken during the play). Didn't do much editing on them cause I'm feeling lazy. XD

It's my second time playing Mary Magdalene. However last year's attempt (during Good Friday) wasn't anywhere near the difficulty of yesterday's. During the first, the acting was separate from the singing. This year, I had to act while singing. Uhh. Yeah.

I'm aching on my left side now cause I forced myself to land hard on a wooden stage on all four runs of the play (no pain, no drama). My voice, surprisingly, isn't broke - and to think that I was a bad, bad girl yesterday for drinking copious amounts of iced Coke and Pepsi and stuffing myself with puto, pizza, barbecue and other goodies (I was honestly not expecting to be fed generously yesterday, so thank you to those who gave food =D Had to do some exercising before bedtime since I still felt full from the pizza I ate at 3PM).

Oh yeah, lest I forget: Pei Pa Koa, I'm a believer. XD


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To be honest, I was totally not expecting the reaction we got from the play/musical. The first time we ran through the whole play was during our last practice, which was Wednesday (or was it Thursday? Wow I can't even remember...). Usually the first run-through of a production would happen way before the play date, so it should be near perfect during the last practice (as in production level na ito).

But one thing I learned about doing stuff for church is this: everything will come together in ways that are simply unexplainable. Even the 10AM service, which was the worst of the four, was enjoyed by many! A bunch of people came to me and said that they loved my part; most of them went as far as saying that they cried during my scene, and I'm like "Wow, really?" and then I'll say "Sorry!" for making them cry and rebound with "Thank you po!" after.

But now that I think about it, this kind of unexplainable awesomeness has happened before; last time was during the Thanksgiving Concert. During that time, for my part especially, it only came together on the day of the concert itself, and yet the reaction of the crowd was the same as yesterday's - awesomeness.

I would be lying if I said that I never have any doubts when I get myself into these kind of presentations. I'm a firm believer of preparation, and I knew that we could have used a lot more of it. But when all was said and done, I've got to put these doubts aside and be assured that there is a God greater than my doubts and is the source of all awesomeness. And, with a simple act of faith comes mind-blowing surprises that blogging about it still won't do the event any justice.


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Tomorrow I go back to the bundoks. The Holy Week vacation is officially over. Le sigh.

Kupo

I am alive. I will update.

Duodecim exploits. I have met Feral Chaos. I failed even with my party at Level 100. I got scared. Feral Chaos was a towering character of profound speech (LOL so profound it's confounding!), and sported a blue-green palette that was a disaster. Buti na lang hindi pa ako nakatikim ng EX-Burst niya. Based on the videos I've seen, the character will be impaled with three swords, then the screen blacks out. NOT GOOD.

So, since it looks like I won't be able to defeat Feral Chaos for a while, I have directed my energies to other things. While I was browsing through the Museum, I found something rather interesting as I was skimming through the Theater:

THIS. I don't know if it's a glitch in the game or if it's Square Enix's way of placing Easter Eggs in Duodecim. Bottom line is: THERE ARE MOOGLES ABOUT, and I didn't even see them appear in this Yuna-Jecht-Tidus cutscene.  When I moved away from this cutscene then went back again, this thumbnail appeared without the moogles. But when I moved away and went back again after a certain time, this version you see up there showed up again. So I'm guessing this is a random thing. 

Other Moogle appearances:

Squall Nyanhart interacting with the Moogle folk. The Moogles seem to like him since they're flying like that (maybe it had something to do with the amount of silver accessories he was wearing, haha!), though their numbers aren't as many as Yuna's above. Maybe Squall got pissed and drove them off.

THIS. I LAUGHED SO HARD. Didn't know Chaos had a thing for Moogles too! Look how serious they all are in here!

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I'm at home now and will be until Monday next week. ^___^ And this is what I love about Holy Week.

But this Holy Week is hardly a vacation. We've got only a few days before the play for Easter, and I am the one who has had the least practice. *facepalm*

Pag may tiyaga, may play. XDDD

For the sake of a frilly costume

So. Easter is *counts* three weeks away, and just like last year's Holy Week, I am once again involved in a play. I have been assigned to do Mary Magdalene AGAIN. *snickerfit* I guess I played the role of a harlot well last year, huh? The play is for all four services. *epicfacepalming*

When I was in grade school, I've often auditioned for plays. It's not bad to wish to bag one of the main roles, right? Well, I never did. *le sigh* Now that I think about it, I only auditioned because I liked the costume of the character. It was always about the costume.

Now, I keep on wondering how I got myself into all this - without even auditioning or even wanting a role. =/ In any case, I'm not complaining because I know I'll have a costume! Shallow reasoning is shallow.




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Last night I defeated Chaos in my first attempt in Duodecim. Needless to say, I was surprised. In Dissidia I think it took me three times at a Level 100 Squall (and that win entailed a lot of screaming, wahahahahahaha!). My Squall last night was at Level...62? Chaos even summoned Shinryu and it didn't even hurt.

Now I know that I still have to face Feral/Desperado Chaos, and that's an entirely different Chaos altogether. I'm not looking forward to it, even at a fully Level 100 party.

Still on the subject of Duodecim, I'm not a fan of the soundtrack. The replacement track for Dissidia's Preparation For Battle isn't as exciting; it was almost like a toned down version  of Preparation For Battle (kahapon pinag-uusapan namin ito ni Mark, and I told him that if Preparation for Battle was Craig David's Insomnia, then the replacement track [which I forgot the title] was like the ugly balladized version of Insomnia done by some OPM cover artist). The other tracks which came from the individual series are good (of course), but it's the Duodecim-exclusive ones are kind of so-so for me.

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Still on the subject of Final Fantasy - Cecil is definitely the girliest-looking man-hero of FF. I mean, LOOK AT HER HIM (whoops LOL). Even with the shade of lipstick he doesn't fail to impress. I am so glad that in the FF world that being prettier than your wife is not subject to capital punishment. Wahahahahahahahaha!

And to think that THIS image here is waaaaaaay toned down already, he still looks pretty -  in Dissidia he got HAIR SPARKLES. Yes he is half-Lunarian and all...but HAIR SPARKLES...WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN?! if that ain't girly enough for a man, then I don't know what is.


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I love it that it's April and it still feels like February on most days. Last year, April was near unbearable because of the heat.

I'll only be home on Saturday. =( That makes me sad. =/