On not being awesome

Here's a good come back to earth quote for today.

While I was walking yesterday, I stole a few glances up at the sky, wondering briefly if there was still smog. The usual white-washed buildings had an undeniable splash of brown and beige - not on it, but over it. The sky wasn't at its bluest. The thick clouds were mostly off-white and grey.

I had a lovely Japanese bento lunch, which ended with coffee jelly. Throughout that time I stared out the tinted window, wondering if it would rain. I learned, when I was in Canlubang, that storms usually drive the pollution out, which is why the sky is usually clear after a storm passes. I silently hoped for rain - not the disastrous kind, of course - but normal, uneventful rain. The kind of rain that would make me wish I was home eating champorado.

The days following the New Year are usually uneventful - kind of boring actually. Mine thus far are hardly that: on New Year's Day, I was told that I was a failure. On Thursday, I have a planning session for church. On Saturday, I have a wedding to sing for. It's the first week of the year, and I'm already learning:

• The people who hurt you the most are the people whom you expect the opposite from
• People think I'm prepared, but the reality is I am hardly ever prepared 
• Being prepared is actually a process
• What people think I can do is far from what I think I can do; nevertheless, these people are expecting me to mold myself into the "me" that they are expecting

When work was done, I decided to walk again. I remembered how comfortable I was being alone, and for a while I regretted coming back to Manila, because the days I spent living alone in the boondocks (I miss that term) were actually the most fulfilling I've had thus far. The smell of freshly-cut grass, the cool, clean air, the random insect that I needed to exterminate - all of these I found wanting at one point.

I walked around the mall, looking at things I wished I had, and noting price markdowns on shoes that I need to revisit over the weekend. My four-year-old rubber shoes had been to Hong Kong, graced Corregidor and four burials, plus most of my leather ones are old hand-me-downs. I made mental notes of stuff that might be useful to me over the course of the year, such as special pens, felt-tip markers, and notebooks, statement tees...

The thick holiday crowd was gone. Not one shoulder brushing on mine. Vast, open mall space. Only the decor remained. Still the season to be jolly.

When I arrived at the train station, the long lines began.

Choo choo trains

Here's a map that every commuter in the city knows. It's the LRT-MRT map. All three lines of it. Amongst ourselves (ourselves meaning me and college classmates), we inject some SaiMono into these train lines for fun; hence, Yellow (LRT 1) is the Kou Line, Blue (MRT-3) is the Ran Line, and Purple (LRT-2) is the Shi Line. We especially find the coincidence of the LRT-2 being named the "purple" line very amusing, since the LRT-2 is the shiniest and largest of all three lines in the metro. (Ang biro namin, imperial line kasi, tapos ODA pa ng Japan XD).

I don't ride the trains often. My most frequented line is the MRT, followed closely by the LRT-1, because when I go on OL gimiks - whether they are in Makati, Ortigas or Quezon City - these two trains are my preferred way of getting from Point A to Point B. What's wonderful about the LRT-1 is that one of the train stations is just a ten-minute walk from my house.

So here I am, a not-so-frequent train rider, who's about to share my thoughts on train riding in this city.

Why do people love to gather near the doors of the train?

Take my train ride from EDSA (at LRT 1) to Vito Cruz today, for example. When I came inside the train, my first instinct was to find a spot that wasn't crowded. I guess I don't have to spell out the reasons why, right? (if yes, it's a matter of minimizing violations of personal space) However, my brand of common sense apparently isn't so common, cause most people will insist on standing near the doors even if their destination isn't less than three stations away.  They would rather be bumped and shoved and outbalanced than going to a place in the train with more breathing room. They'd rather increase their discomfort in an already uncomfortable situation.

I've experienced standing near the doors of the train a number of times. Most, if not all of the instances these happened were times when I didn't have a choice. The volume of people was just too much that I couldn't wriggle my way to the inner parts of the train. What I can tell you though, without a shadow of a doubt, was that when I had an opportunity to slither my way inside, I'd do it.

In my personal commuting experience, I've noticed people who situate themselves near the doors who "mark" their territory or space in the train. Now, sometimes I do this, but if giving way means more comfort for my stay there, I'd do it. These people, however, they're the type that even if push comes to shove, whether there are ten or twenty coming in on the doors at one stop, they will not relinquish their chosen spot near the exit - at any cost! They will stand there, get angry at times if they get hurt by people coming in or out, but they will stick to their spot as if they've applied epoxy on their shoes.

I do remember a time when I started commuting by train wherein I was advised to look for unoccupied locations inside the train the moment I step in. And this I distinctly remember- do not linger at the train doors as much as possible (in fact, I think this is one of the reminders that's endlessly being played in the trains' PA system), When my stop is approaching, I should discreetly (and politely) make my way towards the exit, but the priority should be to secure a spot where I can firmly plant both feet on the floor.

This method works for me because I am so particular with my personal space. When you violate my personal space, I will black list you for life unless by some act of genius/reconciliation I decide to change my mind. XD If you'll ask me if I've ever not gotten down the train in my station before the doors closed, the answer is no. I get down on time, cause I prepare for my descent - kind of like the way an airplane does.

Which brings me back to my question - why do people love to gather near the doors of the trains?

I guess, the most obvious reason of all is that they want to be the first to get down when their stop comes (whether it's the next or the last station). Or, following this logic, they're afraid that if they stay at the far end of the train, they will not have enough time to get out.

The thing is...you can get out of the train if you've got timing + diskarte. Now, about that "being first" thing...I really don't know. Would I like to be first one out? Well, it wouldn't hurt. But for public transpo (whether train or bus), I've realized that being first out doesn't amount to anything much. I consider being "out" more important than anything.

Don't come looking for me

Just when I thought that I have had my fair abundant share of camp experience during high school, I find myself preparing to attend this year's youth camp at church - not as a participant, but as a worker.

Funny also that I can barely remember my own youth camp experiences back in high school (btw all my youth camps were high school-initiated. I never attended the church youth camps when I was studying). Only fragments remain...such as the awful accommodations we got (the cabin smelled of cat poo cause there was cat poo inside; plus we were expecting rooms with air conditioning but all we got were said filthy cabins and an exposed shower area) and the feeling of being set on fire with the heat coming from within, and then I was taking a plunge to a deep recess that I know I'll never get out off...and then I woke up sweating...

Oh, and I don't remember if it was the same camp or another one from a different year, but it was also during camp when I had my first encounter with a live snake (outside a zoo). It was in the pool that we were all swimming on. One classmate had a tremendous fear of snakes that he freaked out when it was lifted out of the water. And to think I was freestyling-breaststroking-pretending-to-drown with the rest of my classmates with a snake lurking just nearby...

SO. YEAH. YOUTH CAMP. AT TWENTY FIVE. This ought to be interesting...

Oh...this also means that I'm out of the radar (i.e. NO INTERNET HOHMG) from Tuesday until Friday...and probably Saturday too, cause that's enrollment day.




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I am back in Manila. I won't be coming back to Laguna tomorrow, or the next day.

I won't be coming there for a while.

Like I said a few posts back, I want to depart from my style of blogging now - which is, well, pretty random and slice-of-life with a kick - to one that is more introspective and journal-like. The way to do this, I guess, is to write more, as in notebook-pen writing. My tendency is when I'm doing the journaling online I get distracted with a lot of stuff that there's absolutely no room to do some real thinking. In one article I read about writing, the author recommended disconnecting your computer from the Internet in order to write. But for me, the fact that I am in front of a computer means instant distraction. If there's no Internet I have my video files, my iTunes, my photos...

Hence, it's time to go back to the roots of writing. The pen is mightier than the sword, so goes the saying, and a sword can definitely do major pwnage on laptops!





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Two of my last pictures of very familiar sights in Laguna. The first one is my final sunset, less the sun, and the view of the familiar empty dorm hallway, the first door is the one that led to my room.  The second picture is very interesting (to me, at least). I always see maya, but this is the smallest one I've seen in my entire stay, and this was taken on my last day. I was hoping that it wouldn't fly away while the camera was focusing on it, and it didn't. =D Both were taken using Dylan, so excuse the 5MP quality. XD

Here's a transcript of what I wrote during the eve of my last day in Laguna. A lot of things were on my mind then...when I tried processing all these by myself, I became very emotionally charged, and I knew that there was no other way to wrestle with it other than to write it all down.

Randomness

My favorite yet overused blog title. Yes, yes.

And here we go.



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I have been on leave since yesterday.

I ate at the former Jo'nis for merienda when I went to Makati yesterday. Their puto bumbong, was super special awesome.

It's the kind of puto bumbong that will induce a reaction as epic as the not-so-extreme reactions from Yakitate! Japan (i.e. forgetting your name, being transported to a better place for a few seconds but absolutely not changing history or going on a field trip in space riding a train).



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Pansin ko lang na nauuso ang mga remake/remaster/rehash/whatever you wanna call it sa mga anime ngayon. Two years ago FMA Brotherhood started. Last year was Dragonball Kai. This year we're going to have this:

RUROUNI freaking KENSHIN!!!!!!! This calls for a keyboard smash of happiness!!!!!!! L;JE4FOJIOWNVOAEWNVCIOWEFOIACNEWFWA!!!!!!!

It wasn't until yesterday that I learned that RuroKen was cancelled/cut short due to the filler episodes. Well, I wouldn't blame the Japanese viewers back then...by the time it got to the Feng Shui arc it was utterly ridiculous that I wished for Shishio to come back to life so Kenshin could fight him again. But now that it's back...and it's been confirmed that the Jinchuu freaking arc will be part of this new anime, I'm like OHHH EMMM GEEEEEE. If the art and music will be as beautiful as it was in the original, there will be more shaking and crying from my end. LOL


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And to end this post, I will direct you to this awesome video.

Bundok vs Kapatagan

Hello, northeasterly wind. I walked listlessly on the road that went down and up. The breeze tickled my face the way a cold, teasing hand would do, and I welcomed it. No need to put on the hood to keep my head from the cold. I let it be so.

Up above the sickle-shaped moon hung in the sky, surrounded by faint stars. I've always been told that the stars shimmer more away from the city. Here it wasn't so. The sky was wide and overwhelming, unlike the city where towering buildings only give you but a taste of its expanse.

The rustling of trees, the creaking of various insects, and the overall peace that prevailed...

It's nice for a while, but come Friday I'll want to come back to reality - to high-rise buildings, to hopelessly knotted-up traffic, thick pollution and violation of personal space. And for wanting this, I must be either crazy or just a normal Manila girl.

Manila.

I keep coming back to Manila.

Look who's back home today

Hey hey hey. Tomorrow is Biñan Day, and you know what happens when a city celebrates the anniversary of its cityhood --- WALANG PASOK!

Which is why I'm now in Manila, enjoying cool-enough weather and great lutong bahay. I intend to sleep a lot tonight and wake up late in the morning, work on getting a clean slate for my MA application requirements, answer emails of the non-work kind, watch Love Actually (an assignment from the Brother, go figure), and be a sloth for the rest of the day.

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This morning I woke up early to prepare for a trip to Pila in Laguna. As I emerged from my room the first thing I noticed was the breaking dawn, next was the presence of the Moon and Venus. It was beautiful, and the astronomer in me was geeking out. But hunger came first. XD

I wish I had taken a picture of it, but Cecile is busted still...

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I finished The Hunger Games today. I read it while the car I was riding plowed through Makiling Forest at breakneck speed. (Sometimes at night I thank God that I'm still alive, even if the driver goes at 120 at such narrow roads and even has the guts to overtake. I think I should thank Him more XD) Now I wish I had money to buy Catching Fire. But I don't. I cry I cry.

I wish that Peeta was more developed as a character, like the kind of development that Katniss got. It seemed that he was just thrust into the story and you don't really get if he's a major character until the Games begin. Until that time, I thought Gale was the leading man.

Having said that, Catching Fire, please. =(

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I've been writing a few haiku pieces lately (both 5-7-5 and 7-5-7). Am I on a roll?