Yup. Still Alive.

I have been remiss in updating this place. But I haven't been really away, because if you looked hard enough, you'd notice that I have two new static pages above! *points*

• Seen/Written is my humble, short collective of written work, posted in some shape or form online - Seen for photography, Written for prose. 
• Books is my growing list of books that I'm open to lend out (to close friends, initially). I was supposed to put up a book club with this person here (AND I HAVE BEEN REMISS ON THAT AS WELL, I AM SO SORRY) but stuff happened that made us unable to do it. Anyway, in an effort to get something started, I've put up my own list of books for loan. This list is still a work in progress; I'm sure I haven't included everything that I have at home.

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So, what has been happening the past few weeks?

• I've been meeting a lot of new people (if I've met you the past two weeks or so and you're reading this, hi!)
• I'm getting required book readings again, and I'm so delayed with finishing them. Required book readings, by the way, aren't the same with wala lang book readings (Read: stuff I want to read)
• I co-composed and arranged a song (emphasis on co- because there's no way I can do it from the ground up). We have this ongoing workshop-slash-book report thing for Music that required us to make a song. I got the recordings of all the songs through email this week, and yeah...hearing my own voice is sooooo awkward *goosebumps* 
• I got paid to do graphic design work in exchange for books (best payment I ever received aside from cash [duh]).
• I ventured once more into snail mail! I called this Operation Liham. The details of the letter can be found on that link. I can't even remember the last time I sent snail mail. It was probably even before 2000. YEGADS

In class, I'm starting to see my most favorite line of Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged in an entirely new light. (Read: SCREW THE RULES.) I'm also seeing a very significant shift in my responsibilities at work, and once again, I find myself hardly prepared.

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This Wednesday, when I went to midweek, I was told by two people that they really like the way I sing this particular song. I am really floored when people say nice things about what I do, whether it's with singing or with work, because more often than not, I am harder on myself than most people are.

But, what I find really funny is that there were other people who told me the same thing for the same song. At first, I was thinking, "Teka, nag-usap ba kayo?" Hahahahaha! But, it seemed highly unlikely because the interval between this Wednesday and the last time I got a similar compliment was more than a year. So...yeah, I don't think nag-usap sila. XD

I guess it's because [1] I love the song; [2] I absolutely LOVE Brooke Fraser (read: girl crush); and [3] there are many ways to sing a song, but very few ways to sing it right. I consider #3 to be the most important, because you can have less of #1 and absolutely none of #2, and still do justice to a song - as long as you sing it right.

Truth be told, I remember messing up Hosanna so many times to the point of not wanting to sing that song in public again, so to hear these things out of the blue is so uplifting.

I must be doing something right. It may not be as bad as I think it is. (Applying the temperaments, the melancholic in me has to seriously chill. XD)

And on this note, gusto ko na uli magkaroon ng raket! Nakakapagod din ang work-school-church lagi! Wala bang mga ikakasal diyan? (Bwahahaha tama ba ito? XDDD)

On not being awesome

Here's a good come back to earth quote for today.

While I was walking yesterday, I stole a few glances up at the sky, wondering briefly if there was still smog. The usual white-washed buildings had an undeniable splash of brown and beige - not on it, but over it. The sky wasn't at its bluest. The thick clouds were mostly off-white and grey.

I had a lovely Japanese bento lunch, which ended with coffee jelly. Throughout that time I stared out the tinted window, wondering if it would rain. I learned, when I was in Canlubang, that storms usually drive the pollution out, which is why the sky is usually clear after a storm passes. I silently hoped for rain - not the disastrous kind, of course - but normal, uneventful rain. The kind of rain that would make me wish I was home eating champorado.

The days following the New Year are usually uneventful - kind of boring actually. Mine thus far are hardly that: on New Year's Day, I was told that I was a failure. On Thursday, I have a planning session for church. On Saturday, I have a wedding to sing for. It's the first week of the year, and I'm already learning:

• The people who hurt you the most are the people whom you expect the opposite from
• People think I'm prepared, but the reality is I am hardly ever prepared 
• Being prepared is actually a process
• What people think I can do is far from what I think I can do; nevertheless, these people are expecting me to mold myself into the "me" that they are expecting

When work was done, I decided to walk again. I remembered how comfortable I was being alone, and for a while I regretted coming back to Manila, because the days I spent living alone in the boondocks (I miss that term) were actually the most fulfilling I've had thus far. The smell of freshly-cut grass, the cool, clean air, the random insect that I needed to exterminate - all of these I found wanting at one point.

I walked around the mall, looking at things I wished I had, and noting price markdowns on shoes that I need to revisit over the weekend. My four-year-old rubber shoes had been to Hong Kong, graced Corregidor and four burials, plus most of my leather ones are old hand-me-downs. I made mental notes of stuff that might be useful to me over the course of the year, such as special pens, felt-tip markers, and notebooks, statement tees...

The thick holiday crowd was gone. Not one shoulder brushing on mine. Vast, open mall space. Only the decor remained. Still the season to be jolly.

When I arrived at the train station, the long lines began.

Taking everything in stride

Just for fun, I'm posting this amusing RuroKen fanart. This has no connection to what I am about to post. I just like it. XD


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Here's what's keeping me busy as of late:

• The new job. By midweek of my second week (which is this week), I'm already making lists of things to do. That's a great sign. I like making lists and checking them out with my highlighter. I like being kept busy. Exciting things are coming - things that involve one of my biggest passions: writing. I'm blessed to be in the cusp of it all. 
• Studies. Finals week is two weeks away. The IMC plan is coming together smoothly. Stat...I'm not so sure how it will come together. It will, one way or the other.
• Enrollment for second term happened this week! Lesson learned: online enrollment for grad school isn't as competitive as the one for undergrad. Having said that, I think it's still imperative to get a head start; never settle for enrolling on the second day lest you lose the classes you need to enroll in.
  
  For next term, I only enrolled in one class:
  
  
  
  I only enrolled for a Saturday class next term, and will concentrate my efforts on adjusting/doing well in the new job. Once I've earned my keep and successfully assimilated myself, I will revert to two subjects in one term.
• More classes - in church, that is. Class equates to a chock-full of readings packed in seven sessions. This coming Sunday will be the sixth (hurrah). 

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All of that pretty much explains the lack of posts. But an approaching finals week also means approaching vacation time from school! Hopefully there will be more posts by then...like, the everyday kind of posting.


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Manang Brooke Fraser's concert will be this coming Tuesday, but she tweeted that she's been advised complete vocal rest plus antibiotics, leading to the Singapore gigs getting cancelled. 

I really, sincerely hope that this wouldn't lead to the unannounced gig here at Alabang to be cancelled too. =/

What is unseen is eternal

Cinemalaya is this week, and I was accepted as a volunteer (thirty-something out of a hundred plus applicants, who would have thought?). I am very happy about having a sort-of job for most of this week, even if it was volunteer work (i.e. working for free), especially if it is for the arts.

My first Cinemalaya movie was Astig in 2009. It was mind-blowing. It was the kind of movie that I was looking for in Philippine cinema, an industry that is dogged with commercialism and predictable formulae that bring in the much needed buck. It acknowledged that the Filipino moviegoer can think. If you've known me for a while, you know I never watch Filipino movies. You can say that I hate the commercialized ones, and I won't deny it. Most of them are insulting to the intellect. The first Filipino movie that I watched was Jose Rizal, and that was followed ten years later by Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo. (I was dragged into it, so yeah...)

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You might ask what are the perks of being a volunteer. Biggest perk is that you get to watch all of the movies for free, provided that you have rendered this many hours. Second best perk is that you get a t-shirt after rendering 16 hours. Third best perk is you get to hang out at the CCP (which is quite a rare thing - for me, at least...you don't get to run around at Tanghalang Pambansa and get away with it XD). Fourth best perk is that you will never go hungry there. They never run out of food, thanks to their sponsors. No, we were not given free passes for our family and friends.

This picture here is the "makeshift" Excel spreadsheet at HQ, which shows which movies are on at what time and at what venue. One of the jobs of the volunteer is to change the signs outside the theaters to the title of the next flick. Other jobs include manning their RFID system, which is a pilot project of the CCP. At times we were also assigned to sell merchandise.

Did I abuse my perks? Not really. Out of my three days as a volunteer, I only got to watch three films: Shorts A, Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa, and Amok. I will get to those films later.

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I had a conversation with one of the employees of CCP during my duty at the Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo. He asked about me, if I was a student, where I lived, and why I volunteered.

"I like Cinemalaya movies," I said. "They're my type of sine."

"Why?"

"Well," I said. "I ... don't really watch Filipino movies. As much as possible, I don't." I tried to laugh it off, but it didn't change the seriousness of my answer. "They're too commercialized."

"Well, that's true." The employee said after a brief pause. "What kind of movies do you like, anyway?"

I smiled. "I like sad endings."

"Really?"

"Yeah, or endings that are sort of hanging, but will make you think. I like that sort of thing. I don't like happy endings."

"Really? Why? What's with happy endings?"

Yeah, what's with happy endings anyway? I pondered on the question; it wasn't enough that I said it was a personal preference. "I...think...there's nothing wrong with happy endings. We're all in search of that happy ending, whatever it means to us. But the reality is, we have to go through many tough times in order to reach that 'happy ending'. I think most of the commercialized movies that we have neglect that. They aren't real."

He nodded. "I get what you mean. So you're saying that the reality of our situation isn't being shown in most of the movies that we have here, and that is why you don't like it."

"Yeah," I said. "And what sucks is that it's movies that are formula-based that make so much money, but that isn't reality. It's a form of escape."

"Well, you cannot blame them." The employee told me. "It's what sells. And with the kind of people who see those movies, they'd like to see something that lightens their spirits."

"I know," I sighed. "A lot of people are hand-to-mouth in here...but that shouldn't stop us from making films that are like these."

"I'm curious, what made you decide to like movies with sad endings?"

That's a good question. I paused and thought for a while, searching for that turning point. "The Lion King," I answered. "Okay, it's a Disney movie, so it obviously ends happily, but what made me love that movie was because Mufasa died, and when that happened it made me cry.

"Until now I still get teary-eyed when it gets to that scene, but I realized that what was in front of me was reality. People do sacrifice their lives for the sake of other people. Death is inevitable. It was sad, and yet it was real."

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If you haven't watched any Cinemalaya flick and are still undecided on what to watch, here are my recommendations:

Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa is my FAVORITE Cinemalaya film thus far. If you would go gaga for poetry, music and dance, then I strongly suggest that you watch this film.

The cinematography is awesome. A lot of the shots gave me goosebumps. What was even more gripping was the poetry, most enthralling was the poetry coupled with music. Ye gads, it was beautiful. I'd buy a soundtrack of this movie if ever one came out.

If gay flicks aren't your thing (as in you're the type who would storm out of the movie house at the slightest hint of gay love), my suggestion is to keep an open mind. In my opinion, the same thing could have happened to a boy and a girl (or even girl x girl), but gender isn't really the point of the movie, nor is gay pride. It is, for me - simply put - an unlikely love story.

Shorts A is also good (didn't watch Shorts B, but a lot of people have been telling me that Shorts A is better). My favorites in Shorts A were Samarito, Every Other Time, and Nino Bonito.

Amok. HUWAW. This movie had its downs...at some parts it kind of dragged for me, but how it all finished was very gripping.

The major feat of this movie - for me, at least - was that it was shot in Pasay Rotonda. That area is chaotic, like I rarely go down the road there for fear of my life. How do you even shoot a movie there? For the execution of this seemingly impossible feat I give it two thumbs up.

The movie had its own fair share of tragedies, of reconciliation (mother and daughter, guy and his fake Levi's), and humor (oh this you have to find out for yourself!).

However, the part of me that loves the written word makes me prefer Sayaw than this movie. I'm not so much of a fan of action movies to begin with; having said that, this movie, nevertheless, was a real treat.

Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank was the first movie I watched for this year. It was downright funny, but it didn't compromise the realism. In fact, I think it was too real, more than the other two films.

This film had the hottest actors. If you'd like some eyecandy, this is the movie for you. Eugene Domingo's performance here was quite something. I don't know how real the ending was (don't want to spoil)...but if it was real then much kudos to her. I wouldn't do that for the life of me.

I also think I saw someone in this movie whom I've seen before. Like...during Sundays, specifically. O___o I could be wrong, you know.

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So much for Cinemalaya! This thing here will be happening real soon:

I GOT TIX TO THE BROOKE FRASER LIVE GIG ON AUGUST!
(I own the frontmost ticket, all the rest aren't mine XD)

There's definitely a price to pay for something like this that happens once in a blue moon. I swore I'll watch a Brooke Fraser concert in Manila. Now that it's going to happen, even if I am a professional bum, I got myself a reserved seat. It will be worth it. It's for a good cause. I will get to see Manang Brooke. It's all good.