10 years ago today, it was my first day of college at De La Salle University

TEN YEARS.

I had to type it down, because I myself can hardly believe it. This is supposed to be my cue for saying I AM OLD!!!, but I don't feel any different, in general.

Okay. Ten years ago...

1. I was sixteen, going on seventeen *points to yearbook photo for your reference*
2. I had braces (again, yearbook photo /sigh)
3. I was a Japanese Studies major (who looks Chinese! XD)
4. I was a reconsidered passer of DLSU 
5. I had no idea what I wanted to do or be when I "grow up" (in quotations, cause ten years on, I still don't think I'm in that "grown up" status XDDD)

I'm sure there were other things...but those are the most relevant. I had a high school-like schedule, with classes beginning at 7AM and ending at about 3:30 during MWF, and an 8:10 to 4-ish schedule every TH. Oh, and there's PE every Wednesday, which was karate at the then new Sports Complex. We had the football field back then. There were also no security guards manning the pedestrian lanes outside the University. We had to cross on our own. (in other words - may taning lagi ang buhay namin dati pag tumatawid sa Taft!)

Transitioning from high school to college has been one of the easiest things to do. For one, I have this disdain for my high school that I'm actually glad to have left it behind (HENCE THE SMILE!). Second, I got into the school of my childhood dreams - De La Salle University! Ever since I was in kinder, I have looked at that familiar, unchanging facade of the St. La Salle Hall and often dreamed of walking in its halls when I "grow up" (haha, again, in quotation marks). Thirdly, coming into the school under Japanese Studies was a welcome experience while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. After one term of bliss under the program, I applied to shift to Marketing Management, and by the third term, I was having classes at LS, the building of my childhood fantasy. 

Entering college was like coming full circle. It was a promise that was fulfilled.

--- --- ---

Ten years after my first day of college, I wonder now how everything ended up like this, and if everything went according to plan.

I've always been told by my parents to plan. "How do you see yourself 10 years from now" is a staple question during job interviews, and of course, for the sake of a job you'll try your hardest to give the best answer. The truth of it is, I've often been very unsure of my answers - especially when I was searching for my first job. Most of the time, my answers were what I thought would please the interviewer most! 

But, I do remember saying...

1. I want to get an MBA or a master's degree 
2. I want to travel -  go out of the country, and be in more places in the country aside from Bulacan
3. I want to live alone

And in the span of less than ten years (graduating in 2006), all of these very simple plans have been fulfilled. I'm in my second year of MMC. I have travelled CALABARZON (thank you DLSC), and I have spent more than a year away from family - surviving storms, snakes, beetles, forest fires, and the traffic resulting from Skyway (phase 2). 

And there's more - stuff that I didn't even dream of doing: winning a trip outside the country by singing (no less!); writing a book; singing in public (that last one is something I never would have guessed!)

If I had a chance to pay a visit to my sixteen year old self - a sixteen year old who is...

1. Incredibly unsure of herself and what she can do 
2. Discouraged due to high school authorities (all that drama those months leading to graduation is just...ugh) 
3. Indifferent
4. Sort of confused if she's good, or up to no good 

...I'd probably not take that chance. If ever I will, I won't show nor introduce myself to her. The most amazing thing about my college life is that I have absolutely no regrets, and I feel so blessed to have had that experience. I relished every day of those four years, taking it one day at a time.

I didn't make too many plans. I simply did my best in all of my subjects, so when I got my grade I knew I likely deserved it. I didn't join too many orgs, nor did I aspire for any political/leadership position (with the exception of NKK, which was more of a passion thing, and not a resume asset). I befriended as many people as my rigid rules on personal space would allow me. I shared my notes willingly, taught classmates generously. I took my own share of risks, worked to earn money, sang to earn money. 

If there was any plan, it was to live the remaining four years of school life the fullest way possible. What "fullest" meant was a mystery; one that can only be defined when the journey has been made. 

I certainly don't think I've got it "all together", though. If there's anything my sixteen year old self thought of her future twenty-something self, it was that. I'm still learning, re-learning, and unlearning. I haven't figured everything out quite yet, and that's okay.

I don't think anyone will ever figure everything out. =)

You got to deal with it: The Obligatory Fangirling-about-The-Legend-of-Korra Post

Aang is dead. 

Since last week, I've been spazzing on the awesomeness called The Legend of Korra. Knowing my country, it will be a while before the series reaches our shores, so I took the liberty of seeing the first two episodes for myself.

 I regret nothing.

And so it ends

In a few hours, 2011 will be over. Thank goodness.

2011 is a year of unbelievable loss, extreme mood swings, and major career changes. It is a year of people telling me I could handle something even if I am telling them straight up that I CAN'T  (ye gads if I have to deal with this again next year, I will run amok); it is a year of disappointment and hardship.

So, what was great about this year that's about to end? It is a year of breakthroughs - career-wise, education-wise, and everything-else-in-between-wise. I am still working on getting myself back to normal, but I know that 2012 can only be a better year. If 2011 got me down, there's nowhere to go but up.

Now, excuse me while I watch Ironman 2 while waiting for Tangled to come on Star Movies.

Happy na, New Year pa.

Dreams do come true

No, I'm not talking about the type of dream where you meet your showbiz/boyband crush for x number of years in person, or you get married with your first love from high school. I'm talking about dreams that you have at night.

There have been many times when I've dreamt about stuff that actually happens in real life. Like, I dream about being in a certain situation in a specific place in a specific time of day. Then, weeks/months later, I have this undeniable feeling of deja vu, and I realize that the same happening appeared in my dream.

It gets creepier. I dream about death, like I dream that people will die soon. And my "batting average", if you will, is nearly spot on. I won't go there, cause I rather find it very confounding. XD If you're an X fangirl, you could say that I'm sort of the likes of Hinoto - a yumemi.

Anyway, this whole "dreamseeing" business is basically the foundation for the main purpose of this post - the long-awaited update on the audition that I went to last June 18.

Last week, I dreamt that I didn't pass. It was the kind of dream that had the same theme, thickness and certainty as with the other dreams I've had of the imminent future. If you follow my tweets, I've been lamenting on the lack of updates (I've been told that the results would be released by month-end). But when the dream came, I knew that I had to accept the inevitable.

Then tonight, I finally got an email from the organizers of the audition. I won't deny that I had a tiny sliver of hope left that I snagged a role. So, with bated breath, I opened the email. Text follows below: